Rammstein - 27/02/2012

Good lord! Industrial metalists, bondage enthusiasts and all-round German mental-bags Rammstein were in town tonight!

They spent about two hours setting off fireworks, flamethrowers, explosives, flares and giant robotic cocks to a pretty full O2 and boy was it some show!

Rammstein are a band that are frequently and easily mocked, even inviting some of with their bizarre music videos and silly songs (Amerika & Du Hast, though great fun, are guilty). But man oh man do they put on a helluva stage show.

Fireworks shots out of every side of the stage, flames bursts out of the stage floor and the ceiling, willed on by the absolutely insane front man Till Lindemann, whose booming vocals got the crowd kicking and punching their way through classics such as 'Ich Will', 'Sonne' and my personal favourite 'Engel'.

Beside all the big bright shiny fireworks, Rammstein's usually dose of bondage and sado-masochism shone through like a leathery beacon of light for all those (and their were a few) whom had shown up in bondage gear. At one point they were walked across a platform on hands and knees, with leashes on and whipped by the drummer as they made their way to a smaller stage on the middle of the crowd. Bizarre but kinda hilarious stuff, thankfully Rammstein rarely take themselves too seriously and Till proceeded to shower the audience with, what I presume was water emanating from a small penis-like attachment to the front of his pants.

Rammstein are such a spectacle, you may not like the music but I assure you the stage show is epic, yeah its just crashes and bangs and colourful lights but its very brilliantly put together crashes and bangs and colourful lights. Well worth the ridiculous price for a ticket.


Oh and it ended with a giant motorised cock which was driven from one side of the stage to the other shooting out white jizzy foam. Well I never...

Chaos Theory

I have thought of a couple of different ways to express my true feelings on this bland, patronizing, nonsense. I was thinking of a series of photos showing how I drifted off into a coma while its putrid dialogue droned on in the background. I actually thought maybe I should record something so I could properly express my disgust that Ryan Reynolds even considered this emotionally vacant, offensively unfunny film.

Instead I will just say....THIS.IS.THE.WORST.FILM.I'VE.EVER.SEEN

And I've seen this....




...and enjoyed it...

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Nicolas Cage is brilliant.

Brilliant enough to make me any old shit. Justice? Seen it. Knowing? Seen it. Yes, even the original Ghost Rider. So of course I had to see the sequel. It didn't hurt that involved are Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor whom were behind Crank and a number of films I really wanted to like more than I actually did such as Pathology and Gamer.

Unfortunately Spirit of Vengeance feels a lot more restrained than the lunacy that the Neveldine/Taylor team usually means. The backers obviously needed this to be a 12a (it being a comic and such) and the lads were obviously holding something back and it really really shows.

But fuck it, this is about The Cage and frankly, he delivered a big barrel of this...



Honestly Cage is everything brilliant about this film. Really and truly it is so much fun to watch someone just not give a fuck anymore and just go for it.

The rest of the movie is fine, silly action, bizarre cameos and fun one-liners. The pace is quick enough to not get bored during the talkie bits. But honestly I wish this was at least a 15s, feels like it has been sanitized. Still good bombastic fun. Nic Cage is the fucking balls too.


P.S If anyone is in any doubt that Cage is the goddamn best thing ever, please type 'Nic Cage losing his shit' into youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1-oquwoL8

He is the best.

Rubber

Rubber tire goes on a killer spree using its telekinetic powers to make peoples head explode.

....


Sounds awesome. The only problem is things aren't that simple. Instead Rubber is an art-house movie with a b-movie gimmick. The movie it reminds me the most of is Alex Cox's Repo Man. Both are set in rural, barren landscape. Both are full of interesting ideas that make little sense but are so odd you can kinda go along with them. The only problem is Repo Man is a helluva lot more likable than Rubber is. Rubber is OK and many of its bizarre ideas can be taken as silly fun but there is something very smug about the whole thing. Why cant a movie just be about a killer tire? Why do I have to have Stephen Spinella (whom I do really like in this) explaining how the movie is about nothing. I get that, but it feels like the filmmakers are constantly saying 'Hey hey! Look how smart and irreverent we are!'.

I don't want to make out that Rubber is bad. Its not. I can actually be a lot of fun and the effects are really cool and some of it is really funny but there is a smart-arsey about it that makes it not as much of a hoot as it should be.