Killer Joe

Killer Joe is the newest picture from William Friedkin, whom brought us The Exorcist, which I have yet to watch in full after being scared shitless halfway through when I was 12. Killer Joe is a little different, it tells the story of a Texan white-trash family who plot to kill their white-trash mother/ex-wife to reap the life insurance reward. In walks Killer Joe Cooper, a full-time cop moonlighting as a hired hitman. The crew hire Joe but are a little unprepared for Joe's utterly bonkers tendencies. 

So I'm a day with this movie to rest in my brain and honestly the more it stays with me, the more I think it was really great. Its reminded me of southern double-cross thrillers like Red Rock West or Blood Simple but with a nasty violent streak and a sexually charged uncomfortableness that leaves you squirming in your chair. The tension is racked up by the absolutely fantastic Matthew McConaughey. I know! Matthew Mc-NoShirt-Conaughey...

THIS GUY!?

McConaughey is fucking TERRIFYING! His charming, square jawed handsomeness draws you in but his unflinching batshit craziness spits you right back out. 

Killer Joe is an uncomfortable, nerve-racking ride, b-movie ride. Genuinely very funny at one turn then horrifically violent and unpleasant at another, well worth a look. Especially for its utterly brilliant ending. 

Cosmopolis

Did I like this film....did...I...hmmm....did I like this film? I'm really not sure. Its got a futuristic, doomed, society-is-crumbling backdrop. I like that. Its pretty much telling us how we're all fucked and its our own fault. I like that too. Its even got loads of people looking cool with shades and stuff. I like that too! I even like R-Patz!

The main problem is its detachment. American Psycho (which this movie is probably closest to) had a main character whom was detached from reality and Cosmopolis' R-Patz is very similar. He wanders (or is driven) through the city on a way to get a haircut, bored and jaded by everything and everyone around him. The sex scenes have Pattinson with his eyes at half-mast, barely interested in what was probably the last thing to give him any pleasure in life. Just like Patrick Bateman. While we're on the subject Robert Pattinson is awesome. He is cool and distant with an underlying psychotic streak. If anyone thinks he is just a pretty glittery vampiric face, they should check this out and see that he is really quite talented.

Unlike American Psycho, Cosmopolis does very little to try and give you something to hang onto emotionally. Every character who shows up in the limo is cold, clinical and their dialogue is very very complex. For 90% of the movie its Pattinson and one other character talking about technology, death and the plummeting of society. All well and good but I was left dazed and extremely confused trying to keep up with dialogue, characters and what the heck was actually going on! Just as I was getting to grips with one paragraph, three more paragraphs of dialogue screeched past me like a runaway complication train made out of question marks.

But let me be clear, I didn't dislike it. I admire the unashamed complexity and the emotional barrenness of the characters, especially Pattinson, which is kinda the point, how money and technology is distancing us from being human. Unfortunately this means it must sacrifice anything that give the audience some involvement in the material but I guess that's like a metaphor or some shit.

Osombie

Alriiiight! I am so proud to have this in my collection. Just to have a DVD cover that depicts Osama Bin Laden as a member of the living dead fills me with a warmth that the quality of the movie couldn't possibly replicate. 'Bin Laden will die again' oh stop! Its just too perfect. Its the kinda thing you might want around if you have people over at your house and they happen to be browsing through your DVDs. Its cool that I don't have to bring it up, people will see it, ask about it and awesome, I get to talk about this movie! Its like owning Sharktopus, it sucks but when people see it they will turn to you and go 'hey whats this' and you'll tell them the basic premise and they'll say 'wow, that sounds mental!' and laugh, all the while you're hiding the fact that it really isn't as much fun as it sounds...

Osombie is what all good exploitation cinema is made of, see Iron Sky, though they waited 60 years before cashing that particular cow. But hey, these guys saw the potential, went there and pulled the trigger and the results are kinda like Sharktopus but not quite. Where Sharktopus (half shark, half octopus) failed was that aside from one or two actual Sharktopus encounters there wasn't much Sharktopus on screen, just people moving from place to place and being bored. With Osombie, there isn't very many encounters with the titular Osama Bin Laden zombie but more with his zombified minions. Unlike Sharktopus though, it isn't completely boring, but Bin Laden isn't milling about in every scene, quipping and pulling someones head off. Disappointing.

After that who gives a shit right? The whole point is for Osombie to be front and centre! Well, its not all bad, the gore is decent-ish and it moves along at a fair old pace. When you actually see Osombie, the make-up is pretty cool! So, its not the worst thing ever..I mean if you really don't want to sit through this movie just pick up the cover shake your head and say 'Feckin' hell, what a ridiculous idea', cause frankly that's about as clever and fun this movie gets.

What I'm trying to say is go see Iron Sky.

Iron Sky

If Prometheus is this years 2001: A Space Odyssey then Iron Sky is this years movie about Nazis from space. In that it is about Nazis coming from the Moon to take over the world.

If you need anymore reason to see Iron Sky other than that then you probably weren't going to see it anyway, were you? Admit it! Well you should cause there is loads to enjoy! Sure, there are moments when you think 'Stop! You have the most perfect premise, why are you bothering with these subplots' but who cares, cause when it delivered, it fucking delivers giant zeppelins from space! Little moments and gags made me so delighted, cause if I was gonna make a Nazis from space movie, this is pretty much how I'd do it! When a movie has background gags where children's hopscotch game is drawn in chalk on the ground in the shape of a swastika, I want to high-five this movie and give it an encouraging 'keep this shit up'. 

Really silly b-movie fun, which I hope does well. Its clear someone put a lot of effort in while still realising how completely bonkers this whole endeavor was and for that I think as much kudos as possible should be given.

Prometheus

Finally! The first of the massive movies has arrived at the Summer blockbuster party. But unusually this Summer blockbuster has loftier ideas, while some are tackling what would it be like to see robots hit each other in the mouth and be racist, Prometheus is looking at the grander picture of where we came from and does God exist.

Sci-fi is a genre of ideas. People I've spoken to about Prometheus whom didn't enjoy it, mainly didn't, it seems, because it didn't provide what it had promised. I mostly agree, mostly. The trailer promised some epic ideas on the nature of God, creation and why-we-are-here. Of course I didn't expect the movie to come out and lay out the meaning of life for me but I did expect some cool, interesting or even just fun sci-fi ideas. The film sets up some cool stuff but with dialogue so plodding and in one particular scene, completely nonsensical, it feels like they just needed an excuse to get on the planet to do some gnarly shit but didn't bother to give some sufficient explanation as to what is going on.  

That is not to say I hated Prometheus. Actually I really enjoyed it. It hits a high mark on the yuck-o-meter about half way in that made this old fool smile. The final shot, which seemed to enrage some people had me squealing with delight even if it made little to no sense. Nods to the original Alien movie had me excitedly pointing, saying 'wooooah look at that one' to the interest of no one. Michael Fassbender is an absolute star too! There is something so fantastically creepy about him as he wanders around staring at things and owning the flick's best dialogue. Then there is the scenery. Holy moly, there is one thing you cannot possibly fault Prometheus on is how utterly stunning it looks. The landscape is vast and beautifully rich in detail. Everything is so wonderfully epic!

This might all sound great (and it is) but there is still a little part of me that wishes its themes and ideas could have been a little more epic. But hey, who I am to knock some slimy gore. No one, that's who.